I Was Losing Myself to Somebody Else
by 01031989
Summary: A Sequel to my Dark Knight FanFiction : Nothing Could Be Better Than This. Joker/OC
1. Things Change

Author's Note: This is a sequel to my fanfiction, "Nothing Could Be Better Than This". It takes place about three months after the Epilogue. Hope you enjoy this! And keep in mind my fanfiction's are always slightly AU. Also, I am looking for a serious BETA Reader for the following chapters in this story. If you are interested, please message me c:

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Emilie's Converse covered feet were nervously tapping along with the ticking wall clock. No one else sat in the waiting room but still she had not been seen for over 35 mintues. Impatiently, she fiddled with the candy wrapper that she found on the seat beside her. Twisting it back and forth, she wished the doctor would see her already. She had to miss a day of work for this and she needed money now more than ever.

"All they have is soda." Emilie's mother sat down beside her checking her watch then emitting an expasrated sigh loud enough for the front desk to hear.

Minutes passed and Emilie tossed the wrapper down upon the wooden coffee table in front of her. The entire room was silent aside from the clock and silence bothered her. It bothered her because it gave her time to think. She always wanted to be busy otherwise, her mind would drift to that of the Joker.

"Canton!" An older looking man emerged from the door nearest the front desk, half smiling. Emilie and her mother both stood and followed in unison to the door.

"Carol, here will take your vitals and I will be with you in a few."

Emilie proceeded to sit upon the chair near the sink while her Mother took another, picking up the lastest issue of a celebrity magazine. The young woman took Emilie's vitals while she loudly popped the gum she held in her mouth. "I like your earrings," The woman said as wrote on Emilie's records. "Where did ya get them?"

"I don't know." Emilie remembered Kara giving them to her for one of her birthdays long past.

"I bought these the other day. Real cheap too." The woman pointed at her small gold hoops. More silence passed as Emilie was weighed and her stomach measured.

"People sure are getting pregnant at younger ages. Condoms are free if you go to like...that one clinic by the Starbucks on 14th."

Emilie felt insulated and looked at her mother for help but watched as she just shook her head in disaproval not taking her eyes away from the pictures of the magazine.

"My boyfriend is a lot older than me and he's real experieanced, if you know what I mean," the woman laughed as she closed up Emilie's record. "How old is your boyfriend, I mean I don't see a ring or anything."

"I don't know."

"How do you not know?" The woman pitched the blue medical gloves she was wearing and tossed them into the trash can.

"I don't have a good memory," Emilie adjusted herself in the seat and began to pick at her pastel pink nailpolish on her right hand.

"Oh, that sucks." The woman wrote on note on front of Emiie's records than looked up at both mother and daughter, "The doctor will be in shortly," The nurse left the room, closing the door behind her.

"Was that really nescesary?" Emilie looked over at her mother.

"Just let it go, Em."

Emilie rubbbed her protruding 8 month along stomach, then paused midstroke, "Mom?

"Mmhm?"

"I can't remember the last time I felt the baby kick." At Emilie's last word, her mother finally put down the magazine to reassure her daughter, "Everything is fine. Don't get all paranoid." Her mother rolled her eyes and turned the page slowly eyeing up one of the shirtless males in an advertisement about suntan lotion.

* * *

That evening after dinner, Emilie sat in her bedroom with her best friend Kara. Both girls were silent while Emilie rhythmically rubbed her stomach, her eyes seeming to be in a long lost gaze at the opposite wall.

"All this was for nothing," Emilie's voice was barely audible as Kara sat silently beside her. Kara was being quite cautious of the situation, not knowing what to say. She figured total silence would just make Emilie's mind wander so Kara spoke, "When do you go back?"

"The surgery is tomorrow morning. Early." Emilie drew circles over her stomach, letting out a deep sigh. She leaned her french braided hair against the bedroom wall, looking up at her spinning fan. "Its going to be sad not having him always with me."

"Him?" Kara questioned, hoping she was not missing a detail.

"It was a boy." Kara noticed Emilie had not cried about her entire situation but she could tell by her tone she was truly upset.

"Its hard to miss someone you never met," Emilie sat up off her bed and looked outside her window over looking Gotham City.


	2. This is how the story ends

**(Author's Note: Thank you all for the reviews and fav's! Don't worry, I will have the Joker in the next chapter! Trust me, I miss him too : ) **

**For my entire writings, I have been listening to "The Fray" Radio on Pandora and it is helping a lot! **

**Anyway, thanks again! )**

* * *

Her head was pounding so hard, Emilie thought it was going to burst open. The feeling of nausea kicked in as she struggled to move but for some reason, she felt numb all over. Were her eyes open or shut? She wanted to call out but she could not tell if her mouth was open. Trying to speak, she suddenly felt as if she had no voice. No matter how hard she tried to scream, not a sound escaped her throat.

"Is this death?" Emilie wondered, not recalling what happened after Kara left her house the previous evening.

She was not at all liking the darkness all around her, and was hoping this nightmare-if that's what it was-would be over quite soon. She despised dark places, feeling vulnerable and alone.

"Alright, Emilie...its all over now." A male voice rubbed through her chest, causing Emilie to struggle to open her heavy eyes.

The voice did not belong to that of her father's, so Emilie was frightfully confused.

"Emilie?" That was definitely her mother's. No doubting that.

"Wha, what?" Emilie's voice cracked and her eyes slowly opened exposing her eyes to the scene before her. A blue blanket was blocking the view from her chest and below and bright white lights filled the room, which she presumed was a hospital. "Wait, what is done?" Emilie began to panic, realizing she could not move her lower body.

Emilie's mother, standing near her, spoke in a whisper, "They removed the fetus."

"Its not a fetus, its my baby!" Emilie felt hurt as she watched her mother roll her eyes.

"You got a little drowsy from the medicine they gave you." Emilie's mother told her, while rubbing shoulder.

"May," She took in a deep breath, "May I hold him at least?" She sounded timid and unsure of her question.

Emilie's mother, laid a cold hand upon her daughter's arm shoulder, "That's a little distribing, don't you think?"

"Please?" Emilie begged a little louder, hoping the doctors and nurses would hear her plea. She lifted her head up a bit and saw a doctor holding her baby, wrapped in a white blanket in his arms.

"Best not . You don't want to get attached. Remember its dead, Em." Her mother then checked her cellphone. "Oh wow, Maggie called me." Emilie took no notice as her mother began writing a text message.

"Give him here," Emilie was attempting to sit up but soon remembered half her body was numb.

The doctor had the baby cleaned and then proceeded to give Emilie, the stillborn. Pushing the objective mother out of the way, The doctor half-smiled at Emilie as he lowered the baby to her sight. For the first time in months, Emilie cried.

"He has black hair," Emilie choked on her words trying her best to stay composed. Swallowing her tears and sobs, she attempted another sentance, "What color are his eyes?"

The doctor looked quite hesitant to answer knowing he himself did not know.

"Emilie, just relax its all over now," Her mother was sounding impatient as she continued to text not once looking up to see her grandson.

Watching the doctor walk away with her baby, killed Emilie deeply inside. Now that she had physically seen him, it was real. The kidnapping, the loss of memory, the meeting in the alley with the Joker and now her miscarriage. No longer able to control herself, and her unforgiving emotions, she sobbed.


	3. Smiles

**(Author's Note: Thank you for the reviews and favs! The last paragraph was more difficult to write because of the change of perspective. Tell me how I did with it :p )**

Sitting cross-legged on the couch in her parent's living room, Emille was flipping through the television channels searching for any sort of news about the Joker. He had been quiet for sometime now and Emilie was worried she would never see him again.

"Why do I want to see him again?" She would ask herself but then again she wanted to. She had to find out if he was in fact her kidnapper. She needed answers since no one knew a thing about her kidnapping.

Her channel surfing was starting to slow itself down as her fingers stopped mechanically pressing the buttons upon the remote. She leaned her head back upon the soft cushion of the couch and watched as the celling fan above her slowly spun. Her eyes kept watching as it focused on one specific blade going round and round in a counterclockwise motion.

She eventually sat up, feeling dizzy from watching the fan spin and walked to her bedroom, and looked at her welcoming bed. All she wanted to do everyday was sleep. That was the only time her mind was at ease. She flopped upon her twin sized bed and grabbed the tiny baby blanket that lay near her tear-stained pillow. She snatched it up and wrapped it around her hands and lay her face into it. The only physical memory left from her baby. Three weeks had passed and she was still not yet over her miscarriage.

* * *

"You're late."

"I took a cab instead of the subway," Emilie removed her coat and placed it onto the counter, avoiding her less than caring supervisor.

"You know the subway is always faster,"

"Yeah, well habit gets old." Emilie clocked in and began the morning ritual of counting the store's money in the front registers.

"I already had Alex count the front ones." Her supervisor huffed as she walked toward the back office of the grocery store. Emilie found a job that was suitable with her sophomore college schedule which would resume this upcoming August, so she learned to ignore her managers' tempers over little things.

Emilie arranged her long blonde hair into a quick ponytail and walked around the high-end groccery store awaiting opening. She spied Alex over near the front doors, unlocking them. She looked herself over in the mirror behind the registers to make sure her quick hairdo, was decent. A couple loose ends were seen from the back but she just shrugged her shoulders. She watched as he unlocked the two front doors near the registers and then as he walked over to the other two near the deli section, she tried to look away.

"Hey, Emilie!" Alex smiled, raising his eyebrows. He began walking toward her, and with that Emilie's heartbeat picked up instantly.

Emilie gripped the counter and smiled weakly at him. Her eyes looked hopeful as he approached her, and she quickly wondered if she could finally hold a conversation without anyone interrupting them. Alex had been her crush since Middle School and she could not get over the fact that she was still swooning over him.

"I didn't know you worked today," Emilie tried small talk but with Alex, she never knew what to talk about. She could tell at times he felt awkward with her limited social skills when it came to flirting. He knew about her kidnapping like everyone else, but did not know she was pregnant before. She kept it within her close family and Kara. He never really asked her questions about her kidnapping but was always curious, but that never bothered her.

"Need the money, and Sam called off." He shrugged his shoulders and fumbled with the keys before heading back to the store's office to put them away. He hardly worked days and Emilie was thankful she got to see him.

Emilie watched him stroll back to the office and hoped he would not ever turn around when she would stare at him. In high school, he had been the typical popular guy, everyone liked but now that high school was far gone, he was changing. He seemed to become more approachable.

Emilie quickly acted like she was writing something down on paper as he walked back to the front registers, smiling. He causally leaned on the counter, while Emilie scurried to put her doodles away.

"Excited for school to start?"

"Uh...yeah," She feigned a quick smile in his direction, becoming more nervous with each passing second.

"I don't think you ever said what your major was?" He scratched the nape of his neck and continued to watch her.

"English." She twirled the ball point pen in her quivering hands, hoping her lame attempt at being causal was working with him.

He nodded, "Nice, I guess if thats your thing." He smirked.

"And yours?" Emilie felt out of place asking him a question but she had no idea what else to say to keep the silence away.

"Theatre Major," He looked down at the pen she was fidgeting with and leaned farther over and snatched it playfully out of her hands. "Stealing my pens, I see." He locked eyes with Emilie, causing her nervousness to rise. Her elbow accidentally hit a key on the register, opening the drawer.

"S-sorry...it was here so I-" She fumbled with her sentences as her hands did with the cash drawer.

"Just messin' with you," He laughed tapping a drum beat on the counter then quickly took a look at his cell. "Alright, I gotta go finish setting up." He set the pen back down on the counter and walked to the back of the store.

"Have fun," she laughed as he turned around and made a face at her before departing into the back office. Her heart started to lessen its beats a bit as he walked away from her.

* * *

He hated seeing her smiling face stare back at him every morning. Every fucking morning. He wanted to slap the smile off her beautiful face. How could she possibly smile when she was not with him? He hated the press he gave her. Did the news no longer care about Gotham's fate? He hated having to succumb to listening to Charlie's complaints instead of hers. He hated her. She had a control over him like no other. He hated knowing she was out there living life like nothing happened. He was unforgettable, wasn't he ? He hated her more than Batman. More so, he hated the fact that he looked at her picture every day.

The Joker threw Emilie's driver's license across the kitchen along with his three beer bottles, all landing in different directions.

"Hungry. I'm hungry." He mumbled under his breath, staring at the kitchen table before him. He got up from the kitchen table then sat back down and then up again.

He glanced around the kitchen making sure no one was around before he went and picked up the license from off the floor. He wiped away the non-existant dirt from the card and examined it. He had her address, but he wanted to put this all behind him. Focus on the present.

"I can't believe this _girl_, has me _this_ trapped." He mumbled once more, shaking his head in disbelief. Leaning back in the chair, glancing at her bright smile.

"Stop trying to play the innocent one, Emilie. You are far- far from that..." He licked his lips, taking his time on the corners of his mouth.

Charlie walked into the room, seeing the Joker leaning back on the chair's two legs and cautiously approached him from the side.

"Boss-"

"I'll have a number two please." the Joker did not take his eyes off the card and continued to rock back in the chair.

"Boss, we gotta move."

"No cheese on that please. I'm allergic..."

"I'm behind on rent and I am afraid that-"

"Go rob a bank then, Charlie. Use your head." At this the Joker turned to look at him and pushed a gloved finger into Charlie's forehead.

Charlie stormed out of the room, leaving the Joker alone once again. He ran a finger over her face, hoping it would disappear so he would never have to see her haunting face again. He started to hum, while tapping on the table. He glanced up at the celling, only the sound of his anxious tapping was heard. His eyes went back to the table as if the card would disappear if he looked away. He flipped the card over and back again, examining it as if he had never seen it before.

He heard her voice echoing in his head. He could almost feel her nails in his back again as he closed his tired eyes. She was lucky she did not have to go through this torture every day. Every single day. How long would it take to rid his mind of her? Months? Years? Instantly?

He took out a red felt pen from inside his vest and carefully drew a clown-like smile over her own smile in the picture. Tracing over the line he drew a few times, he seemed somewhat satisfied. He held up the card closer to his face and blew on the wet ink, drying it then held it away from his face. He closed one eye and moved it back and forth from his eye, surveying his work. He grunted then slammed the card down upon the table and redrew the line to his liking then put the pen away.

"I feel much better..."


	4. A Flipped Table

**Author's Note: Thanks for the views and reviews!! :-)**

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Emilie picked up the bouquet of dead roses and searched for a name card. Deep down inside the dead flowers, was a small off white card. Written on it, in less than legible handwriting was, "From Me to You." Emilie look around her at the stairwell, wondering if this was some sort of prank. Never the less, she unlocked the door to the apartment and without hesitation, threw the flowers into the wastebasket, never thinking about them.

* * *

Apparently Emilie's social skills had improved over the weeks because Alex had finally asked her out on a date. She smiled as she looked at her phone baring the text, "Can't wait for tonight.", from Alex. He had planned a dinner date at one of the finest restaurants in downtown Gotham, impressively owned by Bruce Wayne, the cities' wealthiest bachelor.

"I hear the sushi is great," Emilie's mother said as she stood in the doorway of her daughter's bedroom.

"You know I hate seafood." Emilie smirked, as she finished curling her hair. She set the curling iron down upon her vanity, and put on a small amount of make-up. Just enough to look presentable for the evening.

She walked over to the full length mirror near her door and smiled , seeing herself and her slightly curled hair fall over her bare shoulders and down her back. A stapless black dress was a perfect choice she had thought for this date. The black dress stopped above her knees and hugged her curves nicely.

"Be careful, Emilie." Her mother pushed Emilie's bangs away from her eyes.

"You and Dad both have Alex's number as well as mine." She grabbed her cellphone from the vanity and walked out of her room.

"I feel jealous I can't go." her father joked as he watched Emiiie emerge into the living room. "You should have Alex 's parents take me on a date."

Emilie rolled her eyes and smiled, "His parents are only paying this once."

Her father stood up from the couch and kissed her on the cheek. "Have fun, honey."

"No wonder your parents paid for us!" Emilie was in awe at the once owned mansion converted to an Italian restaurant. From seeing the luxurious furniture to the extensive expensive menu, Emilie felt out of place. She hardly noticed the way Alex was starring at her tonight for she kept looking at the sights around her. He kept complimenting on how beautiful she looked but could tell from her reactions she doubted his sayings.

"Oh, I have to pay them back for this," he laughed pulling out the chair for Emilie. She bit her lip in slight embarrassment as she sat down, taking the sights in as she adjusted herself in the leather cushioned chair.

"You can order whatever you like," Alex looked down at the menu and his eyes were wide at the selection. "I've never had octopus."

Emilie put her hand over her mouth and laughed as she too looked at some of the interesting selections the place had to offer. She felt Alex's hand take hers as she was searching the menu. Her heart picked up instantly and she refused to show him her flushed face.

The waiter came and took their orders and gave them both their requested waters. Emilie sipped at hers cautiously, trying not to spill it. She eyed Alex over her glass and smiled nervously.

"Relax, Emilie," Alex gave her hand a friendly squeeze. "Don't be imitated by the people here."

She nodded and set her drink down and smoothed the napkin that sat upon her lap. "I'm more imitated by you," She thought.

"I can't get over how gorgeous you are," Alex leaned in and whispered, sending goosebumps across her skin.

"Uh...I," Her cheeks felt like they were just in an oven, as she avoided eye contact with Alex. "Why can't I just accept a compliment from him?" She thought, watching other couples around her laugh and enjoy themselves.

"Thank you for taking me here." Emilie smiled, trying to appear composed. "I've always..." She looked down then up again at him and shook her head no longer wanting to speak.

He lifted her hand up to his lips and kissed her hand, causing her goosebumps to return. "Sorry, if thats tacky but I felt the need to kiss you."

Emilie's eyes widened in surprise at his words. "Its not," She whispered back, the hand on her lap shaking. They inched closer to each other until...

What sounded like two gunshots were suddenly heard causing everyone in the dimly lit restaurant to duck and scream. Emilie looked around herself and saw a group of men at the front entrance of the restaurant all holding shotguns above the seated guests. Alex pushed her down to the floor. "Get under the table," He urgently whispered.

More loud gunshots were heard and more screams as well as the crashing of dishes. Alex held Emilie tightly, debating on whether or not they should try to escape. The odds did not seem good, as he could slightly see through the crowds, the current distressing situation.

"I had a reservation for tonight!" A male voice was heard once the gunshots, dissipated. "But I see you gave my table to someone... else!" The voice spoke louder as it came closer to their table. Emilie curled into Alex's body, closing her eyes.

"Sir, I do not know what you are talking about!" An Italian male spoke back, presumably the owner.

"Alex, lets go!" Emilie whispered into his chest. She could not see what was occurring around her from under the dinner table but from the sounds of it all, she did not want to be here to see this end.

"You give my table away and look, the guests are not even here!" The voice felt as if it was right on top of Alex and Emilie. She opened her eyes and held her arms tightly around Alex as she saw the table move from above them.

Emilie looked up right as the table was heard slamming onto the floor, flipping over on its legs. Her mouth and eyes were wide open as she locked eyes with none other than the Joker.

"What have we here? A quickie?" The Joker bent down and pushed Alex's head away and glanced down at Emilie, looking just as shocked as her.

He backed away, shaking his head in disbelief. He could not show his emotions for long as he approached them again and this time snatched Emilie's arm and tried to pull her up.

"Alex!" Yelled Emilie as she felt the Joker forcefully pull on her upper arm. She felt as if it was going to pulled out of its socket if she did not comply. "Alex, HELP!"

She had a death grip around Alex until she suddenly saw the barrel of a pistol in front of her face. She reluctantly let go of Alex and let the Joker pull her up,almost tripping over her high heels. Alex too bolted up and stood before the gun, fearful for Emilie's safety.

"Trying to be a martyr or something, boy?" The Joker causally asked, cocking an eyebrow.

Emilie was not paying any attention to the various masked men blocking the exits but only on the gun that was now pushing itself into Alex's chest. Emilie took one of his hands and squeezed it. "Alex, don't do anything stupid." Her whisper caused the Joker to slam Alex aside and lean closer into Emilie. She watched in horror as Alex was pushed away from her and then quickly shifted her eyes to the Joker.

"So, mommy's out without the baby?" He narrowed his eyes, patiently awaiting an answer.

"What are you talking about?" Emilie raised an eyebrow, slowly inching away from him. She was having sudden deja vu from the day she met him in the alleyway. This time he had make-up on and a purple suit.

"Who Is Watching Our Bastard?" The Joker causally licked his lips, after he slowly spoke. "Ya, know while you stay out all hours of the night?" The Joker's gloved hands danced in the air as he spoke, leaning his head toward Emilie.

Emilie was completely taken aback by his questions. By the mention of "our" she felt a pain in the middle of her chest. "What do you mean 'our'?" Emilie looked up at the Joker, her mind racing. Was he her kidnaper? Was he the man that fathered her child? She searched his make-up covered face for some sort of change of expression.

Instantly, the Joker took the back of Emilie's neck and forced her closer to him. She could smell alcohol on his breath and tried to turn away from the overpowering stench.

"Put two and two together, Emilie. For once in life, use your brain!" With his free hand, the Joker pointed a finger at her head. He then let loose a loud, laugh deep from within. "Please don't let him hurt us. Please God." Emilie was thinking as she watched him laugh. She could not believe no one around them was doing anything to help her. The amount of guests and employees in this establishment completely outnumbered these criminals!

"Emiile, what is he talking about?" Alex stood afar due to a member of the Joker's troupe, holding a gun to his temple.

"Alex...I don't know," She tried to turn her head to look over at him but the Joker held tightly onto her neck. "I am just as confused...as you." She felt it was becoming harder to breathe so she limited her speaking.

"I wish you'd get your memory back soon enough, I am tired of playing doctor." The Joker leaned his head back, sighing deeply. "I do regret doing this to you, my love."

"You must have the wrong person." Emilie lifted her chin and tried to sound confident, but that was a skill she was not yet acquired with.

"Did you get my flowers? The Flowers I left for you?" He lifted his eyebrow again. Emilie recalled the dead roses at her front door and knew right then that this man was stalking her.

"You have the _wrong_ person!" She was determined to get him off her.

"I'd recognize your scent_ anywhere_, Miss Canton." The Joker revealed a yellow toothed-grin, causing Emilie to lean her head back in disgust. The Joker patted Emilie's curled hair and twisted a strand around his finger, and brought it close to his face.

Emilie suddenly saw this scene before. Him taking a strand of her hair in his then cutting a piece off for himself to keep. She eyed the floor, trying to recollect those quick memories. She did not want him to be the one. The man who kidnapped her, kept her locked up, raped her and-

"Was the bastard too much to handle? You couldn't deal with the _stress_?" His words were cutting straight through her, causing her eyes to water. She did not want this freak seeing his power work over her but her baby was a sore spot. His voice rose, "You should've kept your legs closed if you didn't want the responsibility of-"

"SHUT UP! Just shut the hell up!" Emilie's face was now covered in tears and her face a bright red. Her hands began to clench at her sides, the whites of her knuckles appearing through her tanned skin.

The Joker smiled brightly, apparently loving his effect upon her.

"He's gone!" She sobbed, her throat pulsating under his tightening grip. "He didn't make it." Emilie did not know why she was confessing this to him or how else to say it. Her tears kept pouring out just thinking about her son and the man who was squeezing her throat. She saw between her wet lashes, his expression change abruptly. She did not expect him to look as shocked as he did and it made her wonder if he really was as concerned as he appeared.

Taking his silence as an escape, Emilie suddenly lifted up her leg, and kneed the Joker between his legs. He released Emilie and watched as she ran away into the crowd of guests, her hair trailing behind her.


	5. Don't do this Again

**Author's Note: Thank you as always for your time to read and review! :-) Sorry for the delays between chapters...**

* * *

Emilie was snatched before she got too far. And before she could mutter one sound, one of the Joker's men, knocked her out with the magazine of his weapon.

* * *

_"Why won't my eyes open?_

_Oh my God...I've never felt more exhausted..._

_Why is it so cold in here?_

_My eyelids feel heavy. And my head? Don't get me started on that pain..."_

Emilie sat up and was shocked to see she was in a bed. The sheets, she could tell used to be white but were now covered in random blood stains and other stains she did not want to know. She emerged from the bed in haste, then regretted it.

She held her forehead with the palm of her hand and steadied herself for a bit. Her head felt a million pounds. She closed her eyes not yet wanting to see any light. She took a deep breath and massaged her temples then reopened her eyes. The room- looked familiar and the only light was that of a little lamp near the bedside. She saw it was held together by duct tape.

Her shoes were laying beside the bed. One of the heels on the shoes was broken off. She picked up the broken one and sighed. Putting on her shoes would be worthless.

She looked around her and hesitated opening up any doors. The windows were clearly not an option - covered in pile wood and held on to the window frame by thick nails.

" Pile wood..." Her mind began to race and she took another full scan of the room. She stood still as she observed the room, taking what little there was in.

Suddenly, as Emilie stood alone in the room, she remembered. She closed her eyes in shock of it all. Her eyes opened slowly and she searched the room again. She ran her fingers over the closet door, the bedroom door, the sheets and then the broken lamp. She squinted her eyes . The lamp she broke...

Her heart was beginning to beat faster and she knew. Somehow, it was slowly coming back to her. She bit her lip then ran her fingers through her still curly hair. Despite, her agonizing headache, she ran to the bedroom door, and stopped once she was in the kitchen.

She saw him.

He was starring out the huge glass windows, overlooking Gotham City, in all its glory.

"Did he hear me?" Her mind raced at lighting speed, hoping he did not. She wanted to stare at him, but at the same time embrace him. The day when he gave her the gas was slowly creeping in her mind. She begged him to not to. He never once looked sympathetic as he gave her the gas that would make her lose everything. Everything.

How much she wanted to run up to him. Everything was still fuzzy but she was regaining her memory. Surprisingly Quick at that.

"Don't rush things..." her mind told her but her heart told her otherwise.

He was moving left and right ever so slightly and it made Emilie smile to see him. She missed him so much. She had so many things to tell him but at the same time she thought about Alex. Was he okay? Is he here? Does he know I'm okay?

All thoughts of Alex subsided as soon as the Joker turned around, just as surprised as Emilie. She bit her bottom lip to prevent from showing her oncoming tears. Her body started to shake and her fingers were jittering , her thumbnail digging into her pointer finger.

"He doesn't know I remember..." She did not know how to go about this.

"Runaway attempt?" He slurred his speech, almost looking bored.

"No," Emilie smiled, a tear slid down her face. She felt dizzy but wanted nothing more than to embrace him and never let him go.

She approached him, taking it one step at a time. He did not know she remembered and she did not want to startle him.

"Missed you," her voice was barely heard and he had to shake his head to make sure he heard her correctly. She stopped making eye contact and just starred directly into his chest. His tie design was giving her a headache so she shut her eyes, and stood up against his warm body. She took in his scent then quickly wrapped her arms around him like a child. She did not care that she was crying tears of happiness or that her parents had no idea where she was. She wanted to enjoy this moment. She wanted to be happy after all those long months. All the stress she had was seemingly melting away with each tear,

The Joker did not know what to think of this situation. He looked down at Emilie tightly embracing him and almost felt saddened. Almost but then a grin escaped bearing his true feelings.

After letting her let loose with her emotions, he wrapped his arms around her small shoulders and rested his chin upon her head. He listened to her sobbing and debating on speaking.

"Please don't do...please do this to me again." She choked on her words and it actually made him think. He looked up then back at her and hugged her tighter.

"I love you," Her sobs died down and he pushed her away so he could see her face. He bent down and made eye contact with her.

"Love?" He questioned? "Is this love?" He raised an eyebrow, not wanting to be subject to such a trifling emotion.

"It is for me," She broke eye contact with him, feeling slightly embarrassed for spilling out her emotions like she did. She moved her hands from his waist and onto his forearms. She began rubbing them nervously.

"I can't live without you," She murmured. She looked at the floor, his shoes, her feet, his pants but never his face. "All the time I spent-alone and unsure of-everything...it killed me. It broke me down. I wasn't myself anymore."

The Joker continued to watch her as she stumbled over her words and kept her hands on his arms.

"What makes you want to be with me?" He voice rose an octave.

At this, Emilie finally met his chocolate eyes and shrugged her shoulders.

"You don't know?" He raised an eyebrow and slanted his head trying to make sense of this.

"You can deny it all you want, but I love you." She moved closer until there was no more space separating them. Her hands still shaking, moved up his arms to his neck then his face.


	6. Please Let Me In

**(Author's Note: Heyyy! I am quite aware its been awhile since I have previously updated and for that I am sorry! I have been having some serious writer's block and I do not know how to overcome it! It kills me leaving a story with so many fans and kind reviews unfinished but I do not want to rush and leave you guys upset : ) **

**Anyway, please enjoy the latest chapter! Constructive Criticism is always welcomed! Thank you guys! xoxo)**

_A couple days after I was found, I was forced to speak with a Psychiatrist about the past months. To be honest, I did not remember anything about my ordeal. I would always tell them this but I just kept getting questioned._

_Eventually, they made me go once a week. The third week he brought up the topic of Stockholm Syndrome. He, my doctor, continuelessly would discuss this topic. He was convinced I had it and was trying to desperately get me to speak on the subject. However, I was not lying when I told him I barely remember anything. I remembered no faces, no names, no places just being tied up in a chair. He would just nod and write on his notepad._

_He would bring up other stories about other women who were kidnapped and their various scenarios. I took it all in, hoping I was not a victim of this thing he called, "Stockholm Syndrome"._

_Each session increased in the way he would talk to me. It was almost as if he was trying to convince me that I was in fact, kidnapped and forced to do sexual things. I would sit back in the chair, with my arms crossed over my chest, never once opening my mouth to speak._

_"Listen Emilie, if you just tell us who touched you, we can get you more help. We cannot help without any information."_

_I would rub my pregnant stomach, and just stare at the floor. I mean, its quite obvious something happened sexually. I just was hoping it was not rape. I had to agree to it, right? If I was raped, he would have killed me because he would not allow me to get him in trouble, right? He obviously let me go because a jogger saw me laying by the bridge._

_"Tell me about your nightmares, Emilie."_

_I briefly told my doctor that I was having nightmares of being bound in a chair, knives and I also recalled dreaming about being hit-everywhere and thrown on the ground._

_I would have these nightmares once a month it seemed, and every time I would wake up from these dreams, I would write what I could remember on a notepad near my bedside. I was trying my hardest to get my life together._

_The last session I had, went a little like this:_

_"Emilie, a girl was just kidnapped a few days ago and was just found lying dead. Near the same spot you were found."_

_My heart stopped momentarily, but I continued to listen with growing interest._

_"However, the man who left her body was quickly found moments after by a cop making routine walks."_

_I watched his face and I knew right then what he was about to ask._

_"I would like you to go to the police station to see him. To see if he was your kidnapper."_

_However, the day before this session was the day I saw the Joker in the Alley way. I already knew he was the man who stole me. I knew without any doubt in my mind that it was him. And if the Joker was caught, every news outlet would have been announcing it all day. The man my Doctor wanted me to see was not the Joker._

_"No." I sighed._

_"No?"_

_"Its not him." I scratched the nape of my neck._

_"How so?" He leaned in closer, hoping to get one more ounce of information._

_"I'm done with therapy. It hasn't helped me one bit." I cautiously got up, holding my stomach and left. I held my breath as I pushed opened his office door to leave. As I closed his door, I felt a pain in my stomach. I closed my eyes slowly and took it all in. Seeing the Joker yesterday, my last appointment with my Psychiatrist and the thought of my child. I was pregnant with a baby-doing it alone and young. I walked downstairs, gripping the handrail with all my might. My cramps were increasing with each step I took down, and I had to stop and sit before it became intolerable. Leaning my head on its side, I sighed. I wanted help, I truly did. I wanted the pain of pregnancy gone first of all, my memory to return and for this nightmare to end.  
_

_

* * *

_

The Joker let Emilie take hold of him, gently. She then stood on her tip toes and kissed him. Her soft hands moved every which way from his face scars to his neck and back again. He bit her lip in return, causing her to smile recalling another memory.


	7. Bi-Polar

Author's Note: Thank you so much for the patience with my writer's block! I appreciate all the reviews and fav's this story and the previous as received. This story isn't going to be as long as the first one. I already have the ending planned out. I just have to get there.

xoxo

Her sun kissed skin was decorated in goosebumps as she felt his hands trail up and down her arms. The Joker swiftly leaned in and gently kissed her neck, her throat and then up to her lips again. She closed her eyes, taking in his scent and familiar touch. Strands of his green washed hair, tickled her skin, producing another chill throughout her body. His lips returned back to hers and hovered over them before biting them once more. Her back arched into him with each bite, her mind begging him to kiss her already.

A few minutes passed before an opening door, brought them both back to reality.

"In the middle of uh...something," the Joker looked over Emilie's bare shoulder at his newest henchman.

Emilie did not turn around but stood before the Joker as he quietly commanded his partner to get rid of the hostage appropriately. Being at least a foot shorter than the Joker, Emilie had to crane her neck up to search his face. His lips were badly cracked and tainted with red paint, as were his mouth scars. Her eyes searched his entire crudely white painted face, examining it as if she had to recreate his face later. The lines in his forehead were clearly visible. The face paint had obviously been left on his face for sometime. The black paint enveloping his brown eyes had only slightly started to fade. Her clouded mind suddenly cleared and her eyes widened with fear when she realized the hostage in which they were talking about.

"Do you mean Alex?" She spoke softly, her voice trembling. Her concern could cause quite a stir.

The Joker raised an eyebrow and leaned his head back a bit to watch her face react.

"Why yes beautiful. He's been refusing to talk." He emitted a heartless, gut wrenching laugh as Emilie turned around to see Alex being drug out by two henchmen. With her back to the Joker, Emilie's heart was torn. She suddenly felt a pang of guilt, as the two men roughly handled Alex.

"What are you doing with him?" Emilie asked still staring in shock at Alex.

Beads of sweat were dripping down Alex's forehead, leading her eyes to a large patch of blood near his left temple. His short blonde hair was tangled and wet and had patches of blood mixed with it. His mouth was duct taped closed and his hands were bound behind his back.

"Get rid of him. He's useless now," the Joker's voice was no longer filled with laughter. Emilie felt the Joker push himself into her back. Her body stood rigid as he placed his right hand on the back of her neck and began slowly squeezing it. His thumb began tracing her collarbone. He licked his lips hungrily as he stared at her chest.

"You can't do that!" Emilie pushed her self away from the Joker and stood facing both parties. "He's done nothing wrong!" She felt her heart quicken and knew this could end very badly.

The Joker tilted his head in question at Emilie's brave outburst. He sauntered over to Emilie and stood behind her again. He placed his hands on her bare shoulders and leaned his face into the nape of her neck and inhaled deeply.

"I love seeing you all worked up," he began kissing her neck while keeping his eyes on Alex's enraged face. Seeing Alex try to yell and fight his way out of his bounds, only pleased the Joker more.

"Oh, now it speaks," The Joker was no longer smiling. "I want to hear him."

One of the henchmen holding Alex, roughly removed the tape covering his mouth. Alex adjusted his mouth and tried to break free but the men were not giving their holds up.

"Get off of her," Alex's voice was low and breathless.

Without any hesitation, the Joker roughly shoved Emilie aside, almost knocking her over and ran to stand in front of Alex, his knife drawn.

"Is that a threat? Last I checked, you were tied up," The Joker leaned his face down to Alex's and squinted his eyes.

No words were exchanged for a few moments as the Joker stood there. A chill filled the room, causing Emilie to wrap her arms around herself. She impatiently stood in the open room, wishing the Joker would just let Alex go.

"I don't know what you want but if its money, we are just students. We don't have much," Alex was pleading with the Joker the best he could, while still trying to maintain his pride.

"We?" The Joker raised an eyebrow at him.

"Emilie and I." Alex tried to straighten his back, but the men restraining him kept him slightly hunched in the Joker's presence. "Just let us go."

"Well, she stays," shrugging his shoulders to adjust his suit jacket, the Joker smirked back.

"Why her? Keep me if you need a hostage!" Pleading for Emilie was all he had left in him at this point. He looked past the Joker, and saw her standing awkwardly with no shoes on. Her eyes met his and she looked at the ground in shame.

The Joker followed Alex's eyes and saw they were watching Emilie and ran back over to her and grabbed her by her arm, pulling her into him. Taking a hold of both of her upper arms, the Joker pulled her body close to his.

"You are gonna have to fight harder for this little slut. She's too much fun to give up," The Joker felt Emilie resisting him and tightened his grip. "I'm sure you know what I mean," The Joker looked over at Alex and began laughing.

Emilie never felt more embarrassed in her life. She turned her head away from Alex. "Why is he doing this?" Emilie thought, still trying to pry herself away. The Joker leaned his face into her neck and began inhaling loudly. "I missed this scent." He buried his face into her neck and hair and began moving his hands up her arms to cup her face.

"Stop it," Emilie whispered through gritted teeth. The Joker paused at her words. He searched her face. She was his just a few minutes ago and now once Alex came into the picture, she was someone else. "Stop," hearing her mutter that word again set him off. With one swift move, he had her thrown onto the ground. He bent down on his knees to her level and grabbed her neck, starring into her ice-blue eyes.

"Come here," he mumbled keeping his grip on her, as she reluctantly inched closer. From the corner of his eye, the Joker could see his men struggling to keep a hold onto Alex. Seeing Alex try to fight his way out, made the Joker tighten his grip on Emilie's neck even further.

She tried to sit on her knees but the Joker did not allow it. He kept her sitting with her most of her weight on her hips and bottom. Her legs curled up in front of her, with her hands propping her body up off the wooden floor.

"Pick a side," the Joker began mumbling. He regarded her suspiciously when he saw one of her hands start to move. His grip became so tight around her throat, Emilie closed her eyes.

"I can't...I can't breathe," she struggled to speak, trying desperately to sit up.

"Open your eyes!" He growled, his face only an inch away from hers.

Emilie's hands instinctively reached to her neck and began trying to pry his hands off of her.

"I will not be played like this. Especially by a slut, do you understand?" The Joker's voice was now loud enough for all to hear. "Now listen carefully, I said pick a side." He shook her entire body with just the grip he had on her neck.

"Let...let Alex...go." Emilie was out of energy and but her hands still kept trying to pry herself free.

"That means, you stay." The Joker roughly tossed her aside and stood up, wiping his hands on his suit jacket. Emilie quickly scooted away from the Joker into a corner of the room and began catching her breath. She watched him go to Alex, his knife drawn. She wanted to yell but could not catch her breath in time.

Emilie tried to stand up but fell on her hands and knees. Her head was spinning. The Joker turned his head around, assessing her current situation then went back to Alex.

"Emilie, get the hell outta here!" Alex repeatedly yelled at her. "Get up!" His voice was going hoarse as he continued to beg her to leave. Her head was spinning. Seeing Alex like this not what she ever wanted.

"Like I said earlier, get rid of him," the Joker nodded toward his henchmen.

Without a verbal response, his men put their hostage's gag back into place. Alex struggled his best against the two men but his attempts were ineffective. With his hands crossed over his chest, the Joker proudly watched the men drag Alex away into the other room.

Emilie slowly stood up, uneasy at first then started running after the henchmen, screaming Alex's name.

"Ha, where do you think you're going?" The Joker grabbed her by the arm and swung her around to face him.

"Let me go," Emilie pulled her arm out of this grip but watched in fear as he reached into his coat and pulled out a pistol.

"What was that?" The Joker mumbled darkly, watching her slowly back away.

"You let me go before..."

"Not with some guy!" He snorted, pointing his pistol at her.

The muffled screams of Alex vanished and the sound of a slamming door, made Emilie realize she was defeated. She did not know where they were taking him and what exactly they were going to do to him but she feared it was not good. Her heart sank and she immediately felt guilty.

"They better not hurt him," Emilie watched the Joker's face for any sort of reaction. He just rocked back and forth on his heels, emotionless.

"Ya know, before he was even brought out, you were all over me," he shrugged his shoulders. "Calm, and easy. Must be your bi-polarism."

"Are you serious?" Emilie's brow creased. Her spinning head was now giving way to an oncoming migraine. He was right, she was all over him. There was no denying that. She could not even be upset with him for that comment. Standing in front of each other for what seemed like hours, every possible scenario was running through her head with Alex. She looked down at the aged wood floor and thought of her night with Alex, prior to the Joker and his men arriving. She had waited years for Alex to notice her, let alone ask her on a date. Her involvement with the Joker now determined his fate. Her stomach sank at the thought of anything happening to him. At the same time, she had also wanted to remember her kidnapping and find her kidnapper. She did just that and more. She recalled her feelings for him.

"What is hurting him gonna do? What were you trying to get outta him anyway?"

"That is none of your concern," his voice was low and quiet.

Emilie frowned then shook her head slowly. She was never so disappointed with herself. The happiness she had felt with the Joker ceased as she thought about her school long crush, Alex. She no longer wanted anything to do with the Joker. She needed to get out of his apartment and try to help Alex. Her eyes narrowed and she eyed the Joker carefully as she backed away. She felt her back touch the tip of the kitchen counter and with her peripheral vision, saw a kitchen knife calling her name. She tried to steady her breathing and appear calm. Her left hand now hidden behind her back, stealthily tried to inch its way to the tempting knife. She was moving so slow, she knew he did not catch her actions. Her timid heart was practically beating out of her chest, she was almost certain he at least heard that. He licked his lips slowly but did not advance towards her.

"Go to my room," the Joker pointed his weapon in direction of his bedroom. "And bring the knife with you."


End file.
